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Published on:

18th Mar 2026

Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway

In this Gurometer double bill, Matt and Chris break out the much-sought-after Gurometer™ to score Teal Swan and Scott Galloway across the 11 recurring guru traits. In one efficient episode, we compare cosmic-certified spirituality with secular man-talk (and a surprising amount of puffer-jacket merchandising). As a bonus, get ready to thrill at Matt's eternal puzzlement at his own simple binary question of 'guru-osity'.

Links

  1. Gurometer scores to date

The full episode is available for Patreon subscribers (51 mins).

Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus

Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway

00:00 Back to the Gurometer: Teal and Scott

02:33 Galaxy Brain-ness

04:18 Cultishness

05:25 Anti-Establishmentarianism

08:31 Grievance Mongering

10:55 Self Aggrandisement and Narcissism

14:30 Cassandra Complex

18:03 Revolutionary Theories

21:49 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit

26:07 Conspiracy Mongering

28:50 Excessive Profiteering

36:25 Moral Grandstanding

40:33 Overall Gurometer Score

41:27 Rapid Fire Bonus Guru Points

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About the Podcast

Decoding the Gurus
A psychologist and an anthropologist try to make sense of the world's greatest self-declared Gurus.
An exiled Northern Irish anthropologist and a hitchhiking Australian psychologist take a close look at the contemporary crop of 'secular gurus', iconoclasts, and other exiles from the mainstream, offering their own brands of unique takes and special insights.

Leveraging two of the most diverse accents in modern podcasting, Chris and Matt dig deep into the claims, peek behind the psychological curtains, and try to figure out once and for all... What's it all About?

Join us, as we try to puzzle our way through and talk some smart-sounding smack about the intellectual giants of our age, from Jordan Peterson to Robin DiAngelo. Are they revolutionary thinkers or just grifters with delusions of grandeur?

Join us and let's find out!
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About your hosts

Christopher Kavanagh

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A Northern Irish cognitive anthropologist who occasionally moonlights as a social psychologist. Chris has long standing interests in the psychology of conspiracy theorists and pseudoscience. His academic research focuses on the Cognitive Science of Religion and ritual psychology. He lives happily in Japan with his family.

Matthew Browne

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An Australian psychologist and numbers-guy. He does research on all kinds of stuff, but particularly enjoys looking into why people believe the things they do: religion, conspiracy theories, alternative medicine and stuff. He's into social media in the same way people slow down for car accidents.